it's 5 o'clock in the morning, conversation got boring...

I guess I have a temporary case of insomina at the moment. Waking up randomly at the middle of the night is not pleasant because I have been doing my workout at random times during the day instead of my 6AM routine. At least it gets done, and that's the bottom line.

I woke up at 4:45. Whenever I wake up randomly in the morning, I use up the battery on my BlackBerry and surf the internet or watch youtube and even google things I'm curious about. By the way, I'm barely on my computer because my BlackBerry does everything for me. I happened to be curious about a naval nurse officer's salary, so I typed in "naval nurse salary" in the google search bar. I managed to click on this website where this guy provided a synopsis of the life of a naval nurse officer. He mentioned the benefits of which I already know about such as the housing allowance and food stipened, but he went into detail of how his career was. I was inspired because it opened my eyes on how wonderful this career really is.

He mentioned something about "the first two promotions are free, then you work for the rest." Damn straighttttttt, he was right! Being a naval nurse officer for ten years, this guy is a LCDR. I was thinking, "Wow, that's pretty good for only ten years."

Then it dawned to me that doing the minimum won't get you in for the long run. I honestly planned on doing my minimum requirement of 4 years in the service, then 4 years reserve as required for my NROTC scholarship. To tell you the truth, I didn't want to join ROTC, and I am still apprehensive because of what I would have to deal with. I know what to expect, but I don't want to deal with this "crap" for another 4 years. Just because I was scared of what my friends have told me about the program. "Yeah, it's very time consuming & it's something that you have to take seriously. Are you sure you want to do this?" Trust me, that questioned lingered in my head before I applied for the scholarship, and it still lingers. I finally have my answer. YES, I am going to do it, because I want to.

ROTC is just another bump I have to get over. Technically, they'll only have me by the ass for two years, because the last two years are composed of nursing school/clinicals. So in short: "SUCK IT UP, CHAR."


The thing is, I am willing to help people. That's the point of being a nurse. I am definitely passionate about helping people & making sure that they are cared for! That's all that matters, bottom line. Although "naval officer" is added to my occupation, I'm not scared anymore. That's just something little extra (; & I fully understand the concept.

I'm determined.
Step 1: Get into nursing school!

Oh & btw, I'll definitely be the only naval nurse officer with a badass purse collection. When I get commissoned, I'm defnitely going to buy my first Prada. (And I want a white hello kitty lab coat too!) I'll only be 22 by the time. Still young enough, right?

some things never change

I realized how much purple clothes I have in my closet. I have this thing where I can't leave a store without buying something. it's a shame, I know.

On another note, I realized how lucky I am. I am immensely thankful for what I have: material wise & family wise! My parents always provide me with everything I need & want. I feel bad at times because I feel like I get spoiled, but someday I'll pay them back in return with 10 times of what they have given me. I am very close to my family. I'm always with them practically all the time. I even ditch people for them. I know that's horrible, but they will always come first! They always want the best for me, and that is irreplaceable.

I'm getting back into shape! I'm proud that I'm doing something productive this summer. I don't wake up at noon like I used to because it feels like I've wasted a day. Yayyy!

ad nauseam

it's almost the end and i feel like quitting. lately, i've been in "quitter" mode. it's sad and pathetic. senioritis is just an excuse for it.

& why am i just starting to get a hang of precal? it just had to be the last three weeks of school for me to understand it!

note: you can't have everything. be content of what you have because if it's not meant for you, then it's not for you. disappointment is hard to accept when you try to be perfect all the time. be real & let it go! & keep on smiling!

18 feels bittersweet.
i can't wait until i register for classes at JU.

american eagle is rubbing on me. to be honest, i really don't shop there. it's more of forever21 and urban outfitters! i do own some hollister & abercrombie stuff but that's when i really think that something they have is cute. i always thought ae had cute stuff, but i never really managed to pick up some of their stuff until yesterday. i do have a purple hoodie from there & i picked up two hoodies for $20! i love off season shopping.

there's so much going on this month! i'm hella last cramming for latin state. i feel horrible. i don't want to let the whole team down! i'm doing this cross-stitching project that i should have started back in february...& now i'm just starting it! not to mention, i still have to study for my category by next thursday! i'm always never on schedule, but i manage to get things done! (this is really bad, btw.)

i'm too excited to go to jacksonville. i know it's not a big deal...but whenever i leave pensacola, it IS a big deal! if you lived in pensacola, trust me, you'd know. i know that i'll miss this town!

i really need a graduation dress. i want something like this:

who'd have known

hmm, i wonder if chloe went back for davis. i bet she probably did because she does have feelings for him. he's ugly. oliver queen is SO FINE. i love smallville!

i need new clothes. & i'm tired of school.
i love the new lily allen album, too!

"never on schedule, but always on time"

i got my NROTC scholarship.
free room & board, free food, free books, free tuition!
JU will cover for my room & board/food, while the Navy will cover books & tuition.
& bright futures is basically useless. (although it will help!)
life is good.
oh boy.

i'm excited to go to jacksonville next week.
then i'll be heading to orlando the week after.
i'm basically last minute slaving for latin state stuff!
help me!

jai ho

i'm so excited for the slumdog dvd to come out next week! i promised to myself that i wouldn't watch it again until the dvd came out, & i don't feel like watching it in a movie theater again. if you haven't seen the film yet, there's a reason why it won best picture + all of the other awards it got!

drivers in pensacola suck, seriously. there's a reason why there's a turn signal! grr. i'm not scared of hitting someone, i'm more scared of getting rear-ended or someone hitting me! i still need to work on my parking, and when i'm alone, mama won't be there to tell me if i parked crooked!

i'm so overwhelmed by all the responsibilities i've had to take on during these past months. i can't believe i'm about to finally drive, (even though i should have started two years ago) & that i'm about to go away for college. i "officially" find out if i got my Nursing NROTC scholarship sometime this week, (hopefully). i heard that the board finally finished deliberating last saturday. i just want the website to say, "YES". i mean, that's how the military is about responses anyway...they're succinct and straight to the point! i'm still scared that i won't get it because there's still that possibility, but from what sources tell me, i'm safe! i won't be able to leave this town without this scholarship! i need that 180 grand! well, JU needs it ha.

i'm excited for spring break & latin state! i'll be out of town for two weeks in a row. i like getting that city rush! it's beach season, and i look fat in my bathing suit! i tried all of them on this weekend, and i was like, "ewwww, i'm fat!" i refuse to put a bathing suit on until i get my body back in shape like how it was during the summer. bye hibernation!

basically i'm excited for slumdog, spring break, & latin state. i have plenty to be excited for, but i can't help but be paranoid at the same time.

senioritis

it's the last eight weeks of high school, and i've concluded that senioritis has hit me. i always remember what homework i have to do without writing it down. but now if i don't write it down, i'll forget to do it. i pulled out two 90's out of my ass for ap english and ap bio. last quarter! i'm pretty proud! now, i'm ready to doodle flowers and hearts on my ap bio. test, but i'm definitely not BS'ing the ap english one! i want my english credit hours! sigh, everything is about school, isn't it?

i really want to find out if i got my NROTC scholarship =/ bright futures would basically be useless if i had it because the navy would be paying for my tuition & books, duh!

i'm excited for april:
- SPRING BREAK in JACKSONVILLE!
- LATIN STATE in ORLANDO!
- the big 18!
- & finally, i'm getting my driver's license!

i should be reading gulliver's travels now. please pray that i get my scholarship!

distractions

i admit that i've been getting everything that needs to be done, but i sure haven't been focused. i've been studying for the SAT's, & wrapping everything up for the third quarter. the only thing i'm worried about now is my precal grade. well, that's nothing new--straight A's, then there goes my precal grade! danks makes it harder than it seems, ha.

i don't get why i even came to school today. it was definitely a waste. i'm glad that i came yesterday because i got my precal test back and aced it. i called angelica yesterday & it made my day because we were just talking about the lamest things ever. well, i was anyway. i was telling her that there's no way i'm going to leave all of my clothes in pensacola unless my family moves to jacksonville with me. i intend on bringing my entire closet with me to college & i'll find a place for everything no matter what. it's not that i care about what i wear, it's just the fact that i like having things in excess. there's stuff in my closet that i haven't even worn yet. there are three dresses there with the tags still on that i can wear for prom, but i'm not going to prom. then there goes my purses. i have to bring at least eight of them, even if i only use three. i just like having the comfort of my things.

...& i miss my best friend! ha, i'm lame.
happy 29 months tomorrow.
i can't even count anymore!

bye xanga!

i'm glad the pieces are slowly falling in place. i'm tired of waiting, and now i'm getting results!

1.) got accepted into UNF (NROTC-accredited school)
2.) "verbally" got my Nursing NROTC scholarship

senior chief told me that the NETC board said that i can "claim" my scholarship. in his words, "99% chance it's yours, they just have to look through [my] papers one more time & verify that everything is correct." i'm praying that everything is correct and legit this time! the scholarship recruiter screwed me over. he apparently didn't get things done.

...and i never thought in a million years that i would committ to this NROTC thing. i always doubted myself and thought i couldn't handle it. "i'm not trading my closet and purses for uniform!" well, i have nothing to lose. if i do get commissioned, then i'm going to buy myself a chanel purse! if everything gets finalized, i will definitely get that marc jacobs tote (;

so, why UNF? well, i thought about it for a while. i really wanted to go to UF, but knowing me, i don't want to weigh in a chance of getting a denial letter. tampa & orlando are full of people from high school, FSU---NEVER, UWF---last resort. & then came jacksonville. i don't know anyone from there, & i personally think that it's untainted because there are not many people from Escambia going there. i mean, college is supposed to be "brand new" and that includes people, too.

i'm still deciding if i should go to UNF or JU. which ever school gives me a better deal, that's the one, & i'll be visiting jacksonville soon to tour both campuses.

a little bit more waiting...then i'll be set!